The Vanilla Dominatrix

I originally intended to post this as a response to the comment of ourchangingviews on my last blog, but I feel that it is much better as an entry in its own right.

Her comment was as follows:

'I'm interested that you say you don't want a 24/7 relationship and yet you feel owned all the time. To me that is what 24/7 is: submission that may be called upon at any moment, although the level and protocol is dependent on the relationship.'

This is an interesting concept, because it is one which I think blurs the lines between a vanilla relationship and a d/s one. I can explain this through example.

Of late, I have been working very hard. Harder than I probably should. I was due to go away to work this weekend, and have been getting myself very stressed about it. By the end of last week, I was so stressed that I suddenly burst into tears on one occasion. When Lilith sat me down and asked me what was going on, it became clear to her that my working patterns were becoming too much for me. She suggested that I take the weekend off, but I was incredibly reluctant too because I felt that the work was important and needed doing. I consulted a friend, and she annoyingly agreed with Lilith. I was still reluctant, so Lilith put on her dominant shoes and told me on no uncertain terms that I was not to go this weekend, and that she would help me to talk to the people concerned so that I could get out of it. She has never done anything like this before, and we have spoken about the level of control that it is appropriate for her to have over 'my' life as a separate thing to 'our' life. However, in this instance, she was acting for the sake of my health. I suspect that any vanilla partner would have done the same if they were watching their loved one slowly self destruct, and I am extremely grateful to her for doing it. Was this act of domination made easier because of the dynamics of our relationship? I suspect so. Do I see it as an act of domination in the context of this blog? No, I don't think I do.