More and more, I am realising that the more I anticipate something, the more mind blowing the final event is. I have experienced this many many times before, but nothing quite to the extent of the anticipation that I am experiencing at the moment. I'm not usually one to blog about an event immediately after it has happened, but this one is eating away at me so much that I feel I need to.
Last night, I quite innocently posted on Twitter that I was thinking about having my hair cut to just below my shoulders, and asked for advice. I have very long, very thick hair and often get noticed for it. It has been like that for 4 years or so now. Therefore, getting my hair cut is quite a big thing for me. It is a big part of my identity, something that I can't really imagine myself without. It is also something that I connect with my Grandpa - he absolutely loved my hair and used to stroke it whenever I saw him. But I haven't really done much with it for the past 2 years, and it is a big tangled mess. It needs sorting out.
The moment that I posted my Tweet, I received a message saying 'Oh no, what are you thinking, I love your hair!'. Then, very soon after that, another: 'Ooh ooh, it could be so humiliating for you if it was done right'. Yes, it could. That thought played on my mind. We discussed a scenario where I was knelt in the middle of the floor in a public place, told that I looked a mess and threatened with scissors. Slowly, slowly, calmly, small chunks of my hair would be cut. All the time, I would be made to feel like a pathetic, helpless mess. I wouldn't have any control over it at all, it would basically be hacked at. Now, that part of the dicussion was just fine with me, and, quite frankly, made me very horny. But then the discussion turned to the practicalities - which hair salon should I have an appointment booked at for the following day, and what would be my shortest limit. It looks like I may have got myself into doing this for real...
There are two people who are likely to be involved in this. One of them has been texting me every so often with subtle sentences that include the word 'short'. The other keeps making offhand comments about how I would look good with a mohawk. I am getting scared. Neither will confirm if, or when, it will happen. Given that this was a casual conversation, I would not be surprised if it didn't happen. But increasingly, it looks more likely that it will. And I am scared. This is a BIG thing for me. I can't stop thinking about it. But clearly I want it, otherwise I wouldn't have written this...
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