Kinky Wish List 2012

Last time I reviewed my kink desires was back in 2010. And now, having settled into a stable relationship, I am starting to think again about exactly what I want to try from this point forwards. It is interesting to note just how many of the things on my last list have now been 'ticked off', and how much more scope for exploration I still feel that there is in every single one of them. However, the further that I delve into the world of kink, the more opportunity that I find out there. So, here it is - my kinky wishlist for 2012 - built from the foundations of my previous list and the fun that followed its publication. There is, of course, a not-very-subtle tone of suggestion in this post – readers, please get in touch!

1.   A scene in which I can submit alongside Lilith, without her needing to take a dominant role. There are some very specific requirements for this scene. Most notably, I would like to feel that I can do nothing to prevent what is happening to her, whilst being kept masterfully occupied with my own torture/pleasure.

2.   To explore heavy protocol play further. To engage in play that I truly believe is not for my pleasure – I am a mere tool in a game.

3.   Roleplay. So far, this is something that I have only dabbled in. However, it featured very heavily in the fantasies of my youth and I would like to create some fairly in-depth play based around certain characters that have always formed the basis of my ability to self-dominate. Schoolgirl, prisoner, patient, child with a nanny, trainee soldier being beasted, kidnap victim… The list is many and varied. However, I would particularly like to explore the role of Tommy further.

4.   Being a big kid. I would like to explore simply being little. Making dens, building fires, playing games, dressing up. I would like to be able to feel a little less inhibited sometimes.

5.   To incorporate a little more discipline into my play. I enjoy being disciplined – I enjoy the feelings of safety that boundaries give me. However, I first need to find a set of punishments that work! I suspect that this is intrinsically linked to my mindset during play though, and may be linked to #2.

6.   To be a party piece.

7.   To indulge in much more wet and messy play. I have discovered that I have a BIG fetish for this, in all of its most disgusting forms. I would particularly like to explore this in humiliating contexts.

8.   To find out how to cry through humiliation. I desperately crave humiliation, but have very little shame. This is slightly problematic, but I remain faithful that there must be something that will work. I just need to explore some more.

9.   To indulge in more medical play. I do not do anywhere near enough of it.

10. To play outside more often. I am not sure why, but outdoor play is always more intense and reaches a deeper place within me.

11. To get tied up more often. I miss the feeling of rope wrapped tightly around my flesh.

12. To further explore the idea of being a submissive with a cock.

13. To explore all of the small, subtle things that turn me on and the variety of ways in which they can be used. A hand on my throat, a gentle stroke of a hand between my legs whilst wearing lacey knickers, a fist in my hair…

14. To make love to Lilith more often. To explore my deep, carnal urge to be inside of her. To belong totally to her, as her equal as well as her submissive.

 

I think that most of this list can be summarised by one simple desire: I wish to find new ways of letting go and losing myself in play. Ways of convincing my brain to just accept what is happening, without putting up any defensive barriers. To return to my extremely deeply submissive roots. 

Any takers?