The Blurb

Both ski socks and flip flops are pretty everyday objects (if you are the kind of exciting person who, like me, likes to go to snowy mountains and tropical beaches, not if you are a boring recluse). Most of what I write about will, I suspect, seem slightly crazy to your average 'vanilla'. But, to me, kink is so integrated into my life that I sometimes don't notice that it is a bit odd.

Ski socks and flip flops are also both totally contradictory to each other. This, in part, reflects the fact that I go by the online psuedonym 'Walking Oxymoron'. But it also explains me very well. I do not look like someone who you might imagine to be a sexual deviant. When out and about, I don't act any differently from anyone else. In fact, I like to think that I appear fairly innocent and demure.

This blog is about the other side of me - my dark side. Specifically, the emotional side of it. Behind the whips and canes and other fun things is a variety of very normal 'vanilla' feelings. They just choose to display themselves in some unconventional places...

Sunday 21 November 2010

Fantasising About Rape

Some of my sexual fantasies are...erm..pretty dark. I guess a lot of vanilla people would judge me for thinking things like this. But, on the other hand, I know that rape fantasies are a lot more common than they seem. Call me sick and twisted if you like, but this is one of mine...


I am imprisoned in a very small, dark cell. It is just large enough that, if I stoop, I can stand but I can't extend to my full height. Likewise, if I lay out, I can just about squeeze my knees around to the foetal position but can't extend my legs. I am not sure how long I have been here, but it is beginning to hurt. I have to keep switching between standing and lying on the floor so that I don't get cramp in some muscle or another. 

All of a sudden, the room fills with light and I am dazzled. When I recover my vision, my captor is standing directly over me. She is severe, in a stunningly beautiful kind of way. Her hair is long and bright red, making her stand out. As I cower in my cell, she towers over me, sneering at me in the way that she has every time she has had to lay eyes on me. It feels like her eyes are boring into me for a good minute, and it makes me uncomfortable - I try to avert her gaze in an attempt to stop myself feeling so small and worthless, but she can see right through me. Suddenly, she grabs my hair and pulls me out of the cell, forcing my face into a cold stone wall as she ties my wrists behind my back. 
Holding me tight, she leans in to my ear. 'Pathetic', she calls me, with a soft sneer to her voice. She watches my feeble attempts to shrink into the ground for a second before firmly reinstating her grip on my hair and leading me upstairs.

She leads me into the centre of a large room - it looks a little like a church hall, with its large ceiling and atmospheric lighting. The room is packed full of men. As I enter, they start to jeer. I can't really make out what they are saying, but I know that it is aimed at me. I am led to the centre, where there is a raised bench. I feebly try to escape, but I know that it is hopeless, and the woman ties me to the bench. I am on my back, with my head forced backwards over the edge of the bench and held there by my hair. My legs are spread, and tied to a point directly above my head. Then, she lays a sharp knife on my chest. SHIT. That is not what I expected. I am already panicking as the blindfold covers my eyes.

I hear the woman step away from my body, and the room instantly falls silent. And nothing happens. I am lying in the middle of a room full of men, totally restrained, with a knife lying across my chest. The only image in my mind is of that knife going through me. The silence feels like it lasts forever. Then, out of nowhere, I hear a stampede. I can feel that I am totally surrounded. In an instant the knife has been lifted from my chest. I take in a deep breath, and i feel blades - more than one - rip through my clothes and then get thrown aside. My body is covered with hands. Someone pulls hard on one of my nipples. Another hand is roughly forced into my pussy. Someone else dips their finger into my arse. The men are all over me. I have no clue who they are - I didn't get chance to see their faces. 

Over the next hour, my body is thoroughly used. Men force themselves into my mouth, leaving cum all over my face, while others are taking my arse and pussy. Still more come over my nipples, stomach and legs. It doesn't matter to them who I am, they just want to rape someone, to leave them totally degraded and used for their own pleasure.  I am unable to hold back my tears. Eventually, finally, they have had enough. I feel the woman near me again, she is untying my hands and removes my blindfold. She, and three of the men are standing over me. I recognise all three of them. This isn't comforting, I feel even dirtier. They know what just happened. One of them puts a vibrator in my hand.
'Filthy bitch, look at you. You are disguisting.' His hand slides between my legs. 'You enjoyed that. You are still soaked.' He wipes his hands across my lips to demonstrate the point. 'Now show us how much you enjoyed it. Make yourself cum.'
I look at him. I can't quite take in what he is asking. 
'You heard what we said. We know you enjoyed that. Now show us. Show us how hard you cum when you play with your dirty little pussy and think about what just happened to you.'
I am almost totally broken, but I just about have the reserves left to say 'NO' and throw the vibrator to the ground.
Calmly, he picks it up and slaps me very hard around the face.
I throw it back to the floor again. This time, his hand hits me at my most sore spot - right between the legs. I can see that I have no choice. Tears flood down my face as I hold the vibe against my clit. I feel totally humiliated. But my body is reacting. My hips start bucking. Covered in other peoples cum, and watched by a room full of men who have just raped me, I give myself the strongest, most powerful orgasm I have ever had. Everyone laughs in my face as I collapse in post rape, post orgasmic bliss.

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