The Blurb

Both ski socks and flip flops are pretty everyday objects (if you are the kind of exciting person who, like me, likes to go to snowy mountains and tropical beaches, not if you are a boring recluse). Most of what I write about will, I suspect, seem slightly crazy to your average 'vanilla'. But, to me, kink is so integrated into my life that I sometimes don't notice that it is a bit odd.

Ski socks and flip flops are also both totally contradictory to each other. This, in part, reflects the fact that I go by the online psuedonym 'Walking Oxymoron'. But it also explains me very well. I do not look like someone who you might imagine to be a sexual deviant. When out and about, I don't act any differently from anyone else. In fact, I like to think that I appear fairly innocent and demure.

This blog is about the other side of me - my dark side. Specifically, the emotional side of it. Behind the whips and canes and other fun things is a variety of very normal 'vanilla' feelings. They just choose to display themselves in some unconventional places...

Monday 8 November 2010

Needles and Topping

*Originally written 8th August 2010*

To follow up this post...

Needles
I recently volunteered myself to a very lovely lady who wanted a needle bunny. It was a first for me, and I have fallen in love. They are just so relaxing! Now I am greedy for more...


Topping
Not so fun for me. I tried it, and I don't think that I will be trying it again. I got slightly dominant with two very lovely women (to whom I should stress that the way I feel is in no way their fault) at the U35 midweek munch, and regret it. I am embarrassed, I feel the need to apologise for the way that I behaved. I had had a little bit to drink, which didn't really help. Now, we didn't really do much play (aside from some friendly spanking), but for me the dynamic that I am comfortable with was totally switched around. It completely knocked my confidence. When I sub, I seem to retreat into myself and find all of the parts of myself that I love, and I end up with this amazing sense of self confidence. Topping had the opposite effect. My confidence vanished, I spent the following day really really hating myself for no good reason. I think that it was partly a bit of domly guilt, but not wholly - there was more to it than that. I spent the whole day crying and needed to be put back together again. I guess I can put it down to experience, but I don't want to do that again!
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